Ch.. Ch.. Ch.. Changes...

Since so many people have so kindly been inquiring about my life and/or wondering if I will be making beads again soon, I thought I'd update my blog with what's been happening in my little part of the universe.

Firstly, sometime soon (very soon), my website will be going offline - in case you haven't read past posts, it's because my ISP is terminating all free websites shortly, and since I haven't been making beads with anywhere near regularity for well over 12 months, I've decided to let it slide. So shortly (ie. whenever I get off my butt to make the necessary change), my URL of http://2cats.cjb.net should bring you directly here to my blog. If (or when) I make beads again, you'll see it here first.

So, anyway, that should answer one of the questions - no, I haven't made any beads. I'm not even going to bother saying the usual of "soon" as I'm sure by now, you're sick to death of 'hearing' me say that. Suffice to say at some point, hopefully in the not too distant future, I hope to fire up the torch again.

However, there have been some major changes in my life the past few months - particularly since mid August. I made the decision mid August to suddenly (or what may have appeared to be suddenly) leave my job. As many of you know, I'm a self-employed medical transcriptionist and with Russ out of work for almost 2 yrs now, I've been (and still am) the breadwinner - hence the reason I've spent so little time making beads. I spent the past 2.5+ yrs concentrating so hard on my MT work pretty much 24/7 that I had reached the point where something had to give. Although it wasn't an easy decision to leave, it wasn't really a spur of the moment one, but it *was*, I felt, a necessary one. I loved my job, I loved the work, and even now around 6 weeks' later, I still miss it.. Hey ho ...

However, life goes on, and as the saying goes "when one door shuts, another one opens". I'm back to working as a transcriptionist, and alternating between picking up a little work here and there from an interstate transcription company (located in Qld) and starting my own business. It's 'slowly slowly' at the moment, but I'm hopeful of bigger and better things. Ultimately though, I have no intention (or desire) to run a huge company - just enough clients to keep the work steadily rolling in is enough for me. I left the corporate world 100 years ago to get away from too much pressure, I lapsed for 2.5+ yrs in my last job, and ultimately paid the price, particularly emotionally. I'm not going to put myself in that situation again any time soon.

So yep, things aren't perfect, but they're not all bad either. I'm no longer having to work weekends or be on-call 24/7, and although I'm still a little lost at times, ultimately I think I'm a happier person for the decisions I've made. I'm going to take each day as it comes. I'm also hoping that this arrangement will give me enough time (and thereby encourage my muse to return) to start thinking about making beads again soon. I'm not going to push myself, I'll just let it happen - or not happen, as the case may be. I've put too much pressure on myself for too long, and I'm now going to spend a little while enjoying some "me" time. Whatever will be, will be.

So, that's the state of play at the moment. Keep checking the blog every now & then in case I do start melting glass again - as I say, you'll see it here first! In the meantime, thanks again to all of you who have taken the time to send me emails of encouragement - you know who you are, and you KNOW how much I appreciate your kind thoughts.

Ciao for now - Sue.

Not Dead, Busy. . .

Yes, yes I know I've been a terribly slack cow lately, so this post is for those of you who have emailed lately inquiring as to how I'm doing, and wondering if I will EVER melt glass again.

Well, the answer to the first question is that I'm absolutely flat out with my day job lately. So busy in fact that I barely have time to think about anything else. Not that I'm complaining - with Russ still out of work, that's a good thing. However, I've been given a 'sort of' promotion to manager/team leader, so along with my own transcription work, I'm also taking on the responsibility of other MTs. It's fun in its own way, and best of all, I still work from home. After being self-employed/home-based in one capacity or another for almost 12 years (God, has it really been that long?), I couldn't bear to return to an office environment. So, that's the major reason you haven't seen much from me.

And the answer to the second question - will I ever melt glass again. The answer is a definite yes, however, when it might actually happen, I have no clue. I have the best intentions on the weekends to fire up the torch, however, with the extra work I've taken on lately, I just never seem to have enough hours in the day. I'm hoping that when Russ has his back operation (which looks like it might happen around 15 December - which is a real bone of contention with me - 10 days before Christmas. The worst time of year to have him stuck in bed for weeks on end) and he's back to normal and working again, I may have a chance to take life a little easier.

Ultimately I would love to return to my glass work full time again one day. It is something I do plan on... just not sure WHEN. I really do hope to have at least one set of beads up on FeeBay in the not too distant future. This is the longest I've gone since I started making beads around 7 years ago without melting glass. I would make it my New Year Resolution to get back to it more regularly, however, past experience has taught me that I never stick to those. I'll just play it by ear for the moment.

See you again soon.. Thanks for stopping by and for your concern. I really am okay!

Insomnia. . .

This is what happens when you work from home with no tech support. I've been up all night trying to figure out why I can't connect to the company's FTP server. Taken just after 4.00 am.




I look like a zombie. And feel like one.

And on that note, I'm going to bed. It's now 4.30 am and I have to be up in just under 3 hours.. ZzZzzz...

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps. . .

. . . I may make beads tomorrow. Or perhaps not.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. Any time I think about melting glass, I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, closely followed by an anxiety attack. A huge part of me does want to make beads, but the smallest apathetic part, seems to be winning. I hope tomorrow that may change.

I love the smell of my studio. It's not something I can actually put into words, other than to say that the memory *behind* the smell is what draws me in there. I've actually gone into my studio every day the past week in a vain attempt to elicit some sort of excitement about the 'good old days' when I made beads for a living. The good news is that a small part of me *does* react to it, and the distinct possibility that I may melt glass again. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I will be able to follow through with that.

I think a lot of it is to do with the dramas going on in my life at the moment. A huge part is Russ being out of work. All the memories of Ansett's demise back in 2001 are flooding back, and although I try my hardest not to become despondent, it's not easy. Then there's my job, which is getting me down big time. I put in 9 hours a day and I'm barely scraping together enough to make ends meet.

Oh, and then there's my back pain. As you may know if you're a regular reader of my blog (all 2 of you), I had a massive exacerbation of back pain in March, and its pretty much been with me ever since then. The back pain itself has eased off slightly (at least I can walk now), but now I have the added bonus of sciatica - something I have never had before. I first noticed it about 2 weeks ago whilst working in my day job - I use a footpedal for the transcription, and every time I lifted my left leg, I noticed I was getting a burning/stinging type sensation in the back of my left thigh. Since then, its moved to my butt, the side of my left thigh and down into my calf. And sleeping, or I should say, TRYING to sleep, has become a nightmare. I cannot get comfortable no matter what position I try. When I first try to get out of bed each morning, it's truly farcical with a combination of moaning, wincing, and then finally rolling out of bed.

I suppose a referral to an orthopaedic surgeon isn't far off. I've been putting it off for years, but it's quickly reaching the stage where I'm no doubt going to have to have some sort of investigation, such as a CT or MRI scan. I don't even want to entertain the idea of back surgery - what with Russ going in for surgery on his back fairly soon, and all the associated costs (and we don't have private health insurance). And in the meantime, I have to keep plodding along in my day job, which is only exacerbating the problem all the more. And that in itself is worrying me - with Russ out of work, I HAVE to be working - there is simply no choice.

I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this, and frankly, I'm just sick of it all. I feel like running (hobbling) away and starting again. Unfortunately, wherever you go, there you are. I'm realistic enough to know I can't run away from my problems - I just have to find a way through them.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day, and maybe things will improve. I live in hope.

I'm Starting to Wonder. . .

. . . if I will ever melt glass again. I really did have the best intentions of doing so this weekend, but then I spent Saturday relaxing, and on Sunday we went to Farid & Yvonne's house for a 'jam session' (Daniel, Russ' son that has been visting with us, is a fantastic drummer, Farid plays the bass guitar, and another friend, Kieran, joined us as the vocalist and playing acoustic guitar), and that was how we spent the afternoon. A large group of us then visited the local Mexican restaurant as a farewell dinner for Daniel (he's heading back to Tasmania in a few hours' time), and by the time that was all over, it was going on for midnight.

So, that's how I spent the weekend - doing everything but melting glass. I've also felt a little 'down in the dumps' the past few days. Not sure exactly why, but I think a large part of it is that I don't feel my vacation was quite long enough, and I'm just settling back into the usual work routine. Oh well, this too shall pass.

Anyway, I'll keep this post brief, as that's about all the news, if you can call it that, that I have to share. Maybe *next* weekend I'll make beads. Or maybe not.

Catch you soon.

Checking In....

Just stopping by to say hi. My first week back at work has gone remarkably quickly, and thankfully, the weekend is here. I haven't been near the studio for around 3 weeks, and I'm hoping things will change tomorrow - I have a whole bunch of new glass my good friend, Tonia, sent me as a RAOGK (Random Act Of Glass Kindness) that I'm dying to try. A few of the silver glasses (which I will probably screw up, knowing me) and a whole host of other fab colours we can't get here in Oz. I'm hoping I WON'T screw it up.. but that remains to be seen. In any case, I do hope to have some new beads to offer you in the coming days.

Well, I better say TTFN and think about cooking something for dinner. Have a great weekend - catch you again soon.

A Quick Hello. . .

Another weekend is upon us, and boy, am I glad of that. Although I enjoy my medical transcription work, with all the extra hours I'm putting in, I find I need the weekends more than ever to recover. Amazingly enough, I actually managed to melt glass today. Five beads in the kiln as I type this, and more to come tomorrow. With any luck, there should be a new set of beads up on eBay either Monday or Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I'll manage to finish the set, but I'm just hoping the weather picks up - it's been raining all day here, and there's no way I can take decent photos until that clears. I can't really complain about the rain - we desperately need it - but it's not the best weather for photography. Oh well, perhaps it'll pick up by Monday, fingers crossed.

It will be only 2 weeks tomorrow until Russ & I go away to Howqua. I know I've mentioned it numerous times, but I am so looking forward to the break. I can't remember being so desperate for a break as I am at the moment. The best part of the place we're staying it is that it's totally secluded - no phones, no neighbours, no mobile phone coverage - NOTHING (which, I have to add, gives Russ the greatest pleasure. His fear was that I would take the laptop and work the whole time. Lucky for him that's impossible - because, sadly, I admit he's probably right). It's like a little slice of heaven on earth. Russ & I will be spending the first 3 days doing nothing but lounging around the house, catching up on our reading, and spending time in the hot tub. When our friends, Yvonne & Farid, arrive on the Thursday for the last 2 nights, we'll be well rested and ready for some serious fun! It should be fabulous!

And on that note, I'll say TTFN. Make sure to drop by again in the next few days to see the new set of beads. If you're a pink lover, then I think you'll like them!

I'll just leave you with one of my favourite videos. I'm not an SNL fan (or a Will Ferrell fan for that matter), but this skit has always made me chuckle. I always loved "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, but this puts a totally new spin on it. We definitely need more cowbell! LOL

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? . . .

Sorry I've been so quiet. I'm just so busy focusing on work lately, that I feel like I'm going to go insane before much longer. Russ & I decided we are going to go away in June, no matter how much it costs. If I don't have a break soon, I'm going to burn out. That hot tub at Howqua has my name on it, and I can hear it calling.

I really hope to make beads this weekend, so stay tuned. In the meantime, here's a little something my stepdaughter sent over. I got a chuckle out of it. Take it easy over the weekend, and I'll update the blog again soon.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

KEVIN RUDD: I am so sorry that he had to cross the road, I apologise on behalf of all Australians.

BRENDAN NELSON: I too am sorry that the chicken crossed the road but don’t expect us to pay for him to get back!,

When The Going Gets Tough . . .

. . . The tough get going. Or so the saying goes.

Since Russ will probably lose his job as soon as he recovers enough to return from his recent back pain exacerbation, we have had to make plans. We both realise the day is fast approaching when I'm going to be the breadwinner - and having to support myself, Russ, and my mother, along with paying the mortgage and all the other bills, is weighing heavily on my mind.

So I made the decision over the weekend to increase my hours of work. As of today, I'm working from 9.00 am to 6.00 pm, Monday to Friday. That's 9 straight hours of typing each day - apart from the occasional bathroom break - remembering that I don't take lunch and/or tea breaks. At this stage, I don't even know if I'm going to earn enough to cover everything, but, I have to do something.

My shift for the day has just finished, and I have to admit, I'm exhausted. Although it's only 2 hours' extra per day, I'm feeling it in every fibre of my being. It's probably complicated by the fact that for the past 3 days I've been feeling like I'm coming down with the flu. And speaking of that, I'm starting to think it may actually be something a little more than the flu. As I was sitting here this morning (typing away in my job) in my turtleneck sweater (winter is just around the corner 'down under') I noticed I was absent-mindedly pulling at the sweater on the left side, due to a slight irritation on my neck. I didn't think much about it until I had a bathroom break and looked in the mirror to find that I have a little red rash on my neck. As soon as I saw it, I realised what I *could* be dealing with - shingles.

I had shingles back in 2001, just after Russ & I returned from the US. At the time, as you may remember if you're a regular reader of my blog, Russ & I had arrived in the US on the morning of 9/11, and then found out the next day that he was out of a job due to Ansett Australia going bankrupt. Funnily enough, although I was obviously a little stressed about our situation at that time, I don't remember feeling totally overwhelmed. For those who have no idea about shingles - here's a little explanation. It's basically the chickenpox virus that sits dormant in your spinal cord - until something sets it off. So, if you've ever had chickenpox (and let's face it, most of us suffer this condition in our childhood), the chance is there that one day you may develop shingles. Experts aren't really sure what that "something" is - although it's more prevalent in the elderly, those with a weakened immune system, and/or those under stress.

In 2001, I ended up with it in my ophthalmic nerve on the right side. Luckily Russ persuaded me to go to the doctor back then *before* it really took hold (I wasn't going to go, thinking it was "just a small rash"), so I was able to get my hands on the antiviral medication, and after taking that and seeing an ophthalmologist, I was given the all clear within a week or two. This time I don't know if it *is* shingles, but I'm going to keep an eye on the rash, and if it spreads in the next 24 hours, I'll be going to see the doctor.

So, if I do have shingles again, the stress of the past few days has more than likely set it off. It can quite often start off with flu-like symptoms (which is what I've had), and within a few days of that, the rash appears - again, that's what seems to have happened. Oh well, at the moment it's just a few tiny sore red lumps and may have nothing to do with my other symptoms, but I'll just see how it goes.

Anyway, what about beads? Well, quite obviously, I don't have anything new to offer you. As I haven't been well the past few days, I haven't been near the studio. Unfortunately, I can't even give an estimate as to when I *may* be in there. After working for 45 straight hours a week, I can't imagine I'm going to want to work on weekends either, although I will try my best in the next few weeks to attempt melting glass. But, if not, well.. I have to say I have much more important things I need to deal with at the moment than making beads. Once upon a time I could rely on the sales of my beads to keep the money rolling in, alas, those days seem to be over. I now need to concentrate all my efforts to what *is* making me money - hopefully, we will get back on our feet in the not too distant future.

I'll keep you posted.

To Bead Or Not To Bead. . .

. . . That is the question. I had all good intentions of spending most of this weekend working on a new set of beads, however, I've had an offer too good to refuse in my day job, whereby I'm being paid almost double on everything I transcribe not only for this weekend, but also for the next week. So, with that in mind (and with trying to save all the $$$'s I can before we go on vacation for a week in June), I decided that beadmaking could wait. I'm probably going to spend most of the weekend typing away on medical reports. I may have a few hours to spare tomorrow, and if that's the case, then I'll fire up the torch. If not, well .. there's always next weekend. I seem to be saying that a lot lately.

Oh well! Whatever you're doing this weekend, I hope you enjoy yourself. Spare a thought for us poor slobs who are working. TTFN!