Christmas Wishes. . .

Christmas Cat
Originally uploaded by invisghost

Stopping by to wish everyone a safe, happy, and joyous Christmas.

I'm hoping that 2009 will see me returning to beadmaking. If I get my Christmas wish, then with any luck, early in the New Year I will have something new to offer you.

See you again soon, but in the meantime, Merry Christmas.

Sue x

Not Dead, Busy. . .

Yes, yes I know I've been a terribly slack cow lately, so this post is for those of you who have emailed lately inquiring as to how I'm doing, and wondering if I will EVER melt glass again.

Well, the answer to the first question is that I'm absolutely flat out with my day job lately. So busy in fact that I barely have time to think about anything else. Not that I'm complaining - with Russ still out of work, that's a good thing. However, I've been given a 'sort of' promotion to manager/team leader, so along with my own transcription work, I'm also taking on the responsibility of other MTs. It's fun in its own way, and best of all, I still work from home. After being self-employed/home-based in one capacity or another for almost 12 years (God, has it really been that long?), I couldn't bear to return to an office environment. So, that's the major reason you haven't seen much from me.

And the answer to the second question - will I ever melt glass again. The answer is a definite yes, however, when it might actually happen, I have no clue. I have the best intentions on the weekends to fire up the torch, however, with the extra work I've taken on lately, I just never seem to have enough hours in the day. I'm hoping that when Russ has his back operation (which looks like it might happen around 15 December - which is a real bone of contention with me - 10 days before Christmas. The worst time of year to have him stuck in bed for weeks on end) and he's back to normal and working again, I may have a chance to take life a little easier.

Ultimately I would love to return to my glass work full time again one day. It is something I do plan on... just not sure WHEN. I really do hope to have at least one set of beads up on FeeBay in the not too distant future. This is the longest I've gone since I started making beads around 7 years ago without melting glass. I would make it my New Year Resolution to get back to it more regularly, however, past experience has taught me that I never stick to those. I'll just play it by ear for the moment.

See you again soon.. Thanks for stopping by and for your concern. I really am okay!

The Awakening . . .

A time comes in your life when you finally get it. When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out: ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world through new eyes. This is your awakening.

You realise that it's time to stop hoping and waiting for something to change or for happiness, safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that he is not Prince Charming and you are not Cinderella and that in the real world there aren't always fairy-tale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you, and in the process a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.

You awaken to the fact that you are not perfect and that not everyone will always love, appreciate, or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK. (They are entitled to their own views and opinions.) And you learn the importance of loving and championing yourself, and in the process, a sense of new found confidence is born of self-approval. You stop bitching and blaming other people for the things they did to you (or didn't do for you) and you learn that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, that not everyone will always be there for you, and that it's not always about you. So, you learn to stand on your own and to take care of yourself, and in the process a sense of safety and security is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and you begin to accept people as they are and to overlook their shortcomings and human frailties, and in the process a sense of peace and contentment is born of forgiveness.

You realise that much of the way you view yourself and the world around you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the crap you've been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much you should weigh, what you should wear, where you should shop, what you should drive, how and where you should live, what you should do for a living, who you should sleep with, who you should marry, what you should expect of a marriage, the importance of having and raising children, or what you owe your parents.

You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin reassessing and redefining who you are, what you really stand for. You learn the difference between wanting and needing and you begin to discard the doctrines and values you've outgrown, or should never have bought into to begin with, and in the process you learn to go with your instincts. You learn that it is truly in giving that we receive, and that there is power and glory in creating and contributing. You stop manoeuvring through life merely as a "consumer" looking for your next fix.

Your learn that principles such as honesty and integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era, but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life. You learn that you don't know everything, that it's not your job to save the world and that you can't teach a pig to sing. You learn to distinguish between guilt and responsibility and you learn the importance of setting boundaries and of learning to say NO. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.

Then you learn about love: romantic love and familiar love. You learn how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving and when to walk away. You learn not to project your needs or your feelings onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more loveable or important because of the man or woman on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that just as people grow and change so it is with love.

And you learn that you don't have the right to demand love on your terms. And, you learn that alone does not mean lonely. And you look in the mirror and come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a perfect 10 and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head and agonising over how you "stack up." You also stop working so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring your needs. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and you learn that it is your right to want things and to ask for the things that you want and that sometimes it is necessary to make demands.

You come to the realisation that you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity and respect and you decide you won't settle for less. And you allow only the hands of a lover who cherishes you to glorify you with his or her touch... and in the process you internalise the meaning of self-respect. And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to care for it and treat it with respect. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and taking more time to exercise. You learn that fatigue diminishes the spirit and can create doubt and fear. So you take more time to rest. And, just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more time to laugh and to play.

You learn that for the most part, in life, you get what you believe you deserve..and that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophecy. You learn that anything worth achieving is worth working for and that wishing for something to happen is different than working toward making it happen. More importantly, you learn that in order to achieve success you need direction, discipline and perseverance. You also learn that no one can do it all alone and that it's OK to risk asking for help.

You learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time: FEAR itself. You learn to step right into and through your fears, because you know that whatever happens you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. And you learn to fight for your life and not to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn that life isn't always fair, you don't always get what you think you deserve and that sometimes "bad" things happen to unsuspecting good people. On these occasions you learn not to personalise things. You learn that God isn't punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It's just life happening. And you learn to deal with evil in its most primal state: the ego.

You learn that negative feelings such as anger, envy and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You learn to admit when you are wrong and to building bridges instead of walls. You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things we take for granted, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, a long hot shower.

Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise never to betray yourself and never, ever to settle for less than your heart's desire. And you hang a wind chime outside your window so you can listen to the wind. And you make a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful possibility.

Finally, with courage in your heart, you take a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.

- Author unknown

Congratulations Daniel . . .

Congratulations to my stepson, Daniel. As you may know if you're a regular reader, Daniel has been undertaking his apprenticeship as a chef, and he has recently finished. Not only finished, but apparently has done amazingly well - so much so that one of the examiners called him to say not only did he pass, but passed with honours. He's apparently so good that he knows more than most so-called "qualified" chefs with years of experience.

Best news of all is that he has landed himself a fabulous job. He's working in a restaurant which is run by a chef that was trained by one of Gordon Ramsay's proteges. The chef in question is super qualified and an expert in the field, and Daniel was hand-picked for the job. Not that I'm surprised at how well he's done - he really is an amazing chef. I've paid a small fortune over the years for haute cuisine, and it doesn't even come close to the food that Daniel has prepared for us.

So Daniel, congratulations to you. Your Dad & I are *so* proud of you. We always knew how amazing you are, and it's fabulous to see other people recognising it too. This is the beginning of your amazing career!

Musings . . .

It hasn't been an easy week. As I have mentioned in earlier entries, my brother-in-law, Peter, was diagnosed with a terminal brain tumour around the end of August, and last Sunday morning, he passed away. If there is any positive in a situation like this, at least he didn't linger on in agony for months, and in fact, he wasn't in pain. Thankfully my sister-in-law, Rae, was with Peter at the end, and she said it was very quick and he seemed to be at peace.

The funeral was yesterday, and it was an extremely draining day. The funeral service started in the church at Sunbury at 10.30 am and we didn't get home until around 4.30 pm. His cremation was closer to Melbourne (Fawnker) and wasn't until 1.30 pm, and actually ended up taking place a little later than that. We then went back to my sister-in-law's house for a glass of wine and/or beer to cheer Peter on his way. I have to say, I can't remember a more draining day in my entire life. It was obviously a very sad day, but the speeches made by Peter's stepson, John, and one of my other brother-in-law's, Leigh, were lovely - some funny moments as well as sad ones. All in all, it's obviously not a day I want to repeat anytime soon.

And now the weekend is once again upon us. Will I make beads? As per usual, I've no idea. Every weekend I tell myself "this is the weekend", but it doesn't happen. Maybe things will be different tomorrow. We'll see.

So, Barack Obama won the US presidential elections. I'm not going to go on about politics in my blog, other than to say I'm happy with the result. I hope this really will be a change for the better, and not only for the USA.

And on that note, I'll sign off. Have a good weekend, and thanks for stopping by.

Update soon. . .

Really. I will update soon. In the meantime, take a look at this site. Food for thought.

The Open Mind Site

Insomnia. . .

This is what happens when you work from home with no tech support. I've been up all night trying to figure out why I can't connect to the company's FTP server. Taken just after 4.00 am.




I look like a zombie. And feel like one.

And on that note, I'm going to bed. It's now 4.30 am and I have to be up in just under 3 hours.. ZzZzzz...

What To Say. . .

Hmmm. So, here I am. Almost two months since I made beads for sale. Does it bother me? Yes and no. Yes, in the sense I keep wondering what the hell has happened that's made me lose interest. No, in the sense that I have other things on my plate that are way more important to me at this moment in time, and melting glass seems like something I used to do in another life. I did make 4 round beads on Saturday. I absolutely hated them, and although they made it into the kiln, I'm not happy enough with them that I would even consider selling them.

I've spent quite a considerable amount of time the last few days looking through all the photos of beads I've made the past 7+ years. Oh, the agony. I almost started crying - as I've already said, it felt like another life. The only good thing to come out of the whole exercise is that a part of me, a very tiny part, still felt the desire to melt glass. I'm hoping that's a good sign. Time will tell.

So, beads aside, what else to talk about? Well, my brother-in-law. He has a brain tumour, and it looks like he only has weeks to live. I haven't seen him for a few weeks, but Russ saw him last weekend, and although he's obviously ill, he is apparently still in fairly good spirits most of the time. We're planning to see him this Saturday. He's going into palliative care very soon, so, unfortunately, that's not a good sign. Radiotherapy hasn't worked, he's only had one treatment with chemotherapy as the doctors believe it's not going to do any good. So now it's just a waiting game. Not good news, it's not fair, but that's life isn't it? The only thing any of us can be sure about in life is that we're going to die. I really try to get my head around the point of it all, but, the more I think about it, the more I feel there is no logic to it.

I do however believe that death is not the end. As a matter of fact, I believe that death is only the beginning. And what does that mean, you may ask? Well, it's not easy to explain. Although I was raised Catholic, I absolutely loathe organised religion. I have no problem with people who feel that organised religion is right for them, but it just doesn't work for me. I do however believe, no, I am *positive* that this existence, this physicial existence, is merely a journey - one of many. I believe we choose to come to the physical world. I believe we choose our life path. I believe we choose who we surround ourselves with. I believe we choose EVERY major event in our lives - including our death. I believe that we leave the physical body when we die, but we return home to our true home - that of the spiritual world.

Okay, so enough of that. Not going to bore you too much. If you want to look for evidence that death is not the end, search my "Stuff I Love" links or do your own research. The evidence is there if only you look.

Can you believe that Christmas is just over 2 months away? I'm not that big on Christmas - well, not in the sense of presents. The two things I *LOVE* about Christmas are the TV programs (and is it just me, or has there not been all that much in the way of Christmas shows on TV the past few years?) and the decorations. I've been spending up big on decorations the past few weeks in preparation - everything from ornaments to decorations for the tree, to LED lights for the garden. I seriously LOVE Christmas decorations. I'm almost eccentric enough to keep my house decorated for Christmas 365 days of the year. As a matter of fact, as I'm typing this, one of my newest Christmas decoration purchases is adorning the entertainment unit - a cute Christmas village with a train slowly making its way around the village, complete with changing colour LED lights, snow covered driveways and Christmas carols. Yes, I realise it's only October, but like I said, I just love the whole Christmas decoration "thing". There's something so magical about it.

Well enough raving on for one day. Will update again soon.

Patch & Suri. . .

Patch & Suri
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Hi ho. Well I finally uploaded some photos of Patch & Suri. They've been sitting on my computer for almost a month and I've been too slack (read lazy) until now to upload them.

This is one of the cutest photos, though if you click the picture, you can see loads more on Flickr. It took Suri ages to get used to Patch, but nowadays they have become the best of friends, evidenced by this photo. They sleep like this every night on my bed. Suri follows Patch *everywhere* now - wherever Patch is, you can be sure Suri is following him - she's literally become his shadow. It's so cute to watch the two of them together. He's become very protective of her, and you can often find him snuggling up to her, making cute little "cooing" noises, and cleaning her. I'm so pleased they've become friends. Tasha, my Tokinese, hasn't taken to her though. She pretty much avoids her at all costs, and if she does run into her, she more than not hisses at her and runs off. Oh well, perhaps given enough time, they may become friends.

Not really much else to report. I haven't made beads (other than a pitiful one that ended up in the bin) since late August. Part of me misses it, but mostly I've just accepted it. When, or if, I get the urge to melt glass again, I'll fire up the torch. Until then, well, that's just the way it is. I'm sick of fretting about it.

Westward. . .

Westward
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Well, here they are - it only took me (almost) 2 months, but I finally have beads on up FeeBay - click here to take a peek. I've added a Buy It Now price too for those of you who don't like auctions.

Hope you like the beads, and thanks for stopping by. Hopefully you won't have to wait so long for the next lot of beads for sale! :)

Believe It Or Not . . .

For the first time in almost two months, I made beads today. Not only did I make beads, but I managed to make enough for a set! So come tomorrow, there will finally be a set of beads up for sale on FeeBay.

I was determined to melt glass this weekend. My back is still giving me grief, however, if I keep waiting around for it to get better, I may never make beads again. So, I took it easy, had lots of breaks, and I managed to make enough beads for a set. And who knows? I may even be able to make more tomorrow - no promises on that front, but if my back doesn't play up too much, well.. you never know. If I do make beads tomorrow, I don't think I'll work on a set - perhaps I'll make a few focals and put those up for auction, or else put them in my Etsy store. I'll see how I feel tomorrow.

Stop by tomorrow if you'd like to check the beads out - I'll be listing them at auction and also with a Buy It Now price. See you then!

Happy 65th Birthday Mum. . .

Carolan Louis
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

You're not only my mother, but my best friend. Love you, Sue xxx

Time Flies . . .

Has it really been 3 weeks since I updated the blog? Well, according to my last entry on 28 July, yes, it has been. You might be thinking that I've been so busy making beads and/or having fun, that I simply haven't had the time. Unfortunately, it's neither - other than walking Toby each morning, I haven't left the house for at least 4 weeks, and I haven't fired up the torch since the first weekend of July. As a matter of fact, other than opening the door to my studio yesterday morning to look for my MP3 player, I haven't even been near the studio.

Anyway, I figured it's probably about time I posted something. So apart from my total lack of beadmaking, what have I been up to? Well for one thing, my back is still giving me grief, so last week I cut my hours back in my job from 45 hours per week to 32 hours. So instead of working from 9am-6pm Monday to Friday, I'm now working 9am-5pm Tuesday to Friday, and having Mondays off. That works out perfectly - I've found that having 3 days off in a row has helped me to work a little more comfortably on the other 4 days. My back still plays up, but at least I'm not spending every 30 minutes crying my eyes out with pain. I've also moved my 'office' - well sort of. The office hasn't actually moved, but I'm now spending my work days typing on the laptop at the kitchen table, which for some crazy reason is much more comfortable a position than the so-called ergonomic design of my office desk.

I'm happy to report that Suri, Mum's Bengal kitten, has finally started to settle in. She still tends to be a little skittish around us humans, but she's comfortable now with the other cats and Toby. She's also finally started to investigate the house, and it's hilarious to watch her chasing our fully grown cats up & down our hallway. The hallway in our house is very long and runs in a straight line from the kitchen up to the front of the house (where the bedrooms are situated) and she's having a ball. I've also managed to capture a lot of photos of her, and when I boot up the PC again, I'll upload some of her to share with you.

My stepdaughter, Lauren, and her boyfriend, Jay, are in the US at the moment. They flew out last Tuesday, and judging by the 2 emails we've received from her, she's having a fabulous time. She started off in LA, is now in Anaheim, then is off to San Francisco, Las Vegas, up to Canada, then over to NYC. After they finish in the US, they're heading over to London to start a Contiki tour through Europe. They won't be back home until October. I am totally jealous of her, but I'm really pleased she's having such a great time. The truth is that even if I had enough $$$s to go overseas, I couldn't handle the plane trip at the moment, so, I'm just going to enjoy living vicariously through her.

So, that's been the past 3-4 weeks of my life. I am starting to really miss beadmaking, but I don't dare try firing up the torch until my back has improved a little more. Maybe next weekend.

Stop by a little later in the week if you would like to catch some photos of Suri - hopefully I'll get a chance to upload them. I'm now off to have a shower and think about opening a tin of soup for dinner - a nice easy Sunday meal. Have a good week, and hopefully I'll catch you again soon.

Oh, and many thanks to those who have emailed me to inquire how I am. I know I've been terribly slack & have not answered anyone. In order to help my back, I'm trying not to spend any more time in front of the computer than is absolutely necessary. However, believe me when I tell you that I very much appreciate your concern, and every single email has helped put a smile on my face. You guys rock! :)

You've Gotta Love The 'Net . . .

I was browsing around the web for information on sciatica relief, and I stumbled across the profile of my cousin-law-in, Mike Kane - he's an anaesthesiologist (or anesthesiologist, if you're from the US). My cousin, Michelle, has been living in the US for eons, and married Mike in 2001 - if you're a regular reader of my blog, you'll remember that DH Russ & I attended their wedding in 2001 in Oregon. I still don't know exactly HOW I came across this - just clicking from one link to another, and before I knew it, there he was. You've gotta love the 'net! :)

Suri seems to be coming out of her shell ever so slightly. She's still hiding in her "safe" box, but Mum & I have managed to coax her to play with a toy mouse, and she seems much more animated than she was yesterday, so hopefully, I'll have more photos to share with you soon. I actually did take a few today, but the battery on my camera died & I'm waiting for it to charge before I upload them.

Well, my back is telling me it's time to get out of the front of the computer. Thanks for dropping by, and I'll see you again soon.

Our Newest Addition To The Family . . .

Suri
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Meet Suri. She's a 4-month-old Bengal that DH Russ & I bought as a birthday present for my Mum. Mum's birthday isn't until next month, but one of the girls that Russ used to work with breeds Bengals, so that's why she got an early present. Mum loves her, and she IS adorable - her markings are gorgeous.

Mum & Russ picked her up a few hours ago, and she's still very scared. At the moment, she's hiding in a cat bag (which isn't pleasing our Tokinese, Tasha, as that's her bed) and hasn't ventured out to look around. That's also the reason that the only decent shot I've managed to capture of her so far is this one in the litter tray (at least the tray's clean!).

Hard to tell what her personality is like at the moment, but I guess over the coming days she'll come out of her shell a little more. Poor Patch has been hiding in the closet ever since we bought her home, so he hasn't seen her yet, and every time Tasha goes within 10 feet of her she spits and hisses and then races off. Oh well, I guess they'll all have to get used to each other eventually.

Over the coming days I hope to take some nicer photos to share with you, so make sure you stop by again soon to check them out. Hope you're having a nice weekend (and no, unfortunately STILL no beads from me. My back is still driving me nuts).

Quick Update . . .

Unfortunately, no beads to offer you this week. As I mentioned in an earlier entry, I had to concentrate on making three beads for my life coach/acupuncturist in preparation for my appointment tomorrow, and that was difficult enough with the back pain. I only managed to make one yesterday, but finished the other two today.

I'm hoping there may be a little good news on the back pain situation. I started using the Norspan patch on Wednesday, and although I'm nowhere near pain free, I do feel marginally better. At least I'm managing to sleep a little more soundly. I'm actually hoping that it isn't the patch that's making the difference and that maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to slowly recover. You wear the patch for a week, so I'm thinking on Wednesday, when it's time to change to the new patch, I may wait a few days and see if things have improved.

The only downside to the patch is this insane itchiness I started to develop this afternoon. I've had the patch on for 5 days now with no side effects, well, other than a very mild nagging headache, but this afternoon I started to develop this roving itchiness which is driving me a little batty. It's not localised to the area where I'm wearing the patch (ie. my left arm), but seems to occur anywhere - from the top of my head, to my face, my neck, my arms, etc, etc. However, I guess it's a small price to pay for a little relief from the back and leg pain.

So, maybe next weekend I may be able to concentrate on some beads for you folks. I'm really trying very hard to stay positive. In the meantime, have a great week, and I'll see you again soon.

Signs (and other stuff) . . .

I'm still processing my appointment with Nelson (the acupuncturist/Chinese medicine specialist I saw yesterday). The acupuncture itself doesn't seem to have really done all that much at the moment, but then again, I'm not all that surprised at that - I fully expected it to take more than one session. However, other 'stuff' that happened literally blew me away.

If you know anything about me, I've long been a believer in the universe providing, or "what you think about, you bring about". Nowadays, thanks to the movie The Secret, you may have heard about that theory - it's more commonly known as the Law of Attraction. Too much happened during the consultation for me to ignore it. I had lost my way lately, but after seeing Nelson, I am fully back on track. Apart from acupuncture, he's a life coach, so I've made the decision to commit to 12 months with him. I really need to explain far more about what happened - but I just don't have the time. Suffice to say, this is something I cannot ignore as random coincidence and/or chance. The universe has given me the unmistakable kick up the butt I've been asking for, and it's time for action. I'll keep you posted.

Other stuff. I've been spending loads of time lately adding to my DVD collection - in the past 2 weeks alone, I've purchased Seasons 1 & 2 of Extras, Seasons 1 & 2 of The Love Boat, the complete series of The X-Files, the complete series of Columbo, and the complete series of Due South (and I admit, I always had a crush on Paul Gross, the actor who played the Mountie, Benton Fraser). Next on my hit list is the complete series of V, Season 1 of Fantasy Island, and Season 4 of House. I'm really quite excited about watching these. I guess this goes a long way to explaining how easily I'm amused (or perhaps how dull my life really is).

As to beads, I'm not sure whether I'll get a chance to make anything for you guys this weekend. My first task on my road to taking accountability for my own life, is to make three beads for Nelson - I have to make one for his daughter, one for his wife, and one for his mother in preparation for my next appointment with him on Monday. Yeah, I know many of you probably don't understand this whole universe "thing", but it makes absolute sense to me.

And here's a little something I thought I'd add that sort of sums up how I have always looked at life - until recently, when I seem to have forgotten it. Have you seen the film Evan Almighty? I actually haven't, but someone once recommended a scene out of this movie to me, when I was moaning about no matter HOW much I seemed to be asking for the "good stuff", I seemed to be getting more "bad stuff" to contend with. This whole clip isn't from the movie, but it starts about 44 seconds into it, with Morgan Freeman ('God') explaining to Lauren Graham's character about how God delivers things in ways we least expect.

This is actually what happened in my consultation with Nelson on Monday. He said to me, "I never really got 'it' - this whole concept of praying and/or asking for the universe to deliver the good things, and instead all I seemed to get was more of the difficult things to deal with, until I saw this movie". Before he could tell me the name of the movie he was referring to, I said to him, "Let me guess, you're talking about Morgan Freeman's explanation in Evan Almighty about why things happen the way they do?". And he said, "Exactly!".

In reality, this whole clip, although related to Jesus, is my view on God/Yahweh/Buddha/Allah/the Universe (substitute your own particular religious deity) answering 'prayer'. If you're not into organised religion, then please don't let that deter you from watching this. I was raised a Catholic, but I am not a fan of organised religion. Each to their own, but organised religion just doesn't ring true to me.. elements of it sound logical, but on the whole, most of it leaves me cold.



Okay.. that's it outta me for one day. Thanks for dropping by.. catch you again soon.

I've Given In . .

Well, the sciatica and back pain have finally beaten me down. I'm not sure how many more nights I can bear waking up around 2.00 am with that searing/cramping/burning pain down the back of my left thigh & calf. An undisturbed sleep has become but a faint memory, and if I have to continue on like this much longer, I swear to God I'm likely to do myself in.

As I have an aversion to seeing doctors unless I'm more or less bleeding from every orifice, my best friend, Yvonne, recommended a local acupuncturist. He's apparently marvellous and specialises in relief from sciatica, so with that in mind, I booked in to see him next Monday at 9.00 am. I admit I'm a little skeptical as to whether he will really help me all that much, but at this point in time, I'm willing to give it a go. Now I just have to keep my fingers crossed that it works.

In other news, it was DH Russ' 53rd birthday on Monday, and Mum & I decided to go halves in a GPS for him. So, after searching around online, we decided on one and placed the order on 23 June for $389. I have purchased lots of products from this particular company and their service has always been fantastic - the items have nearly always arrived within 2 days of placing the order, leaving us with plenty of time before his birthday on 7 July. I received an email from the company (along with a post office tracking number) on 2 July saying the item had been shipped that day. Okay, so that's longer than the usual 2 days, but still left plenty of time for it to arrive in time for his birthday.

So Monday (his birthday) arrives and still no sign of the GPS. I tried the post office website, entered the tracking number, and it tells me it was delivered on 4 July - of course, it hadn't been. So after much to-ing and fro-ing with the post office, and the company I purchased it from, they told me it had been delivered, but they would investigate further. GRRRR.

Eventually the company emails me to apologise - not only it not been delivered (yeah, thanks I already knew that), but it appears it hadn't even been shipped AT ALL - the item was now out of stock. They finally issued me with a refund in the form of a cheque which I'm still awaiting to arrive (and I have to wonder WHY a cheque, when I paid via credit card - obviously a vain attempt at hoping I'd use the credit on some other item on their site - yeah, fat chance of that).

Anyway, we managed to track down another website that had the exact same GPS in stock - this time for only $355. Brilliant we think - we'll order it through them! I placed the order yesterday and thought "Oh well, it might be a belated birthday present, but at least he's finally going to receive it".

So I woke up this morning to find an email from THIS company to say that they too no longer have the item in stock, but "not to worry, as they haven't debited my credit card". I immediately logged into my bank account to find that they HAVE debited my card. SIGH. And after more to-ing and fro-ing with THIS company, they tell me that yes, it shows as debited, but they haven't actually processed it and my credit card company will actually delete the charge in the coming days.

So now I'm out approximately $750 for a GPS that should have cost me half of that, with no sign of either company refunding me at this point in time. Russ ended up finding another website and ordering it (3rd time lucky perhaps?) and using HIS credit card. Maybe he'll have better luck. If I ever receive the refunds, I'll pay it off his credit card.

Here I was thinking the internet was supposed to make life easier. I'm glad I don't run my business like these morons - I can only imagine how many happy customers *I'd* have if I offered beads for sale, accepted payment for them, only to tell the buyer that "Heck, I'm sorry but the beads are no longer in stock". Some birthday it was for him.

And on to beads.. I really hope to fire up the torch this weekend, so stay tuned. Assuming my back doesn't play up too much (ha!), I may actually have new beads to offer you soon.

Have a great weekend.

New Beads. . .

Edited Monday 7 July: These sold with BIN - sorry if you missed out! More beads coming soon (I hope!).

Gilded
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Its only taken a month and a half, but I finally have a new set of beads up on FeeBay ... oops ... eBay. Click here to take a peek. I've also added a Buy It Now price on this set, for those of you who don't like auctions.

Not sure now when I'll have another set of beads to offer you. I hope to fire up the torch again next weekend, but as its taken me 3 weeks, from start to finish, to make these, who knows when I'll next have beads for sale? If this back pain would let up, it would make life easier, alas, that doesn't seem to be happening at the moment.

Anyway, thanks for dropping by, hope you like the beads, and I'll catch you again soon.

The Irony of It All . . .

Getting sick of me complaining about my back? Yeah, well if so, spare a thought for me - I have to live with it.

I'm now at the point where I'm barely getting any sleep. I'm not too bad during the day. Sure, I have back pain 24/7, and a constant stinging-type sciatic pain down the back of my left thigh & calf, and sitting at my desk for 9 hours a day in my job certainly isn't helping the situation any, but it's probably a 6/10 in severity. I can deal with that.

What I can't deal with is the pain in bed at night. On a pain scale out of 10, this is an 11. When I go to bed, I'm not too bad, however, when I wake up around 3.30 am, that's when the real fun starts. No matter which position I'm lying in (and I'm naturally a side sleeper), I wake in absolute agony and simply cannot get back to sleep. I try flat on my back, I try sleeping on my stomach, I try the left side & then the right side and then repeat the cycle endlessly with no relief whatsoever. I always thought I had a high pain tolerance, but I admit, the sciatica is beating me down. The burning/stinging/throbbing pain radiating from my back, deep into my butt, down my thigh and into my calf is finding me about >>>THIS<<< close to finding a cliff and throwing myself off.

Apart from not being able to sleep, the one part of the day I loathe more than any other is getting out of bed. I know I mentioned it in an earlier post, but seriously, it's truly the single most horrendous pain I've ever experienced. If I do manage to get back to sleep after waking around 3.30 am, then I've been finding myself waking around 7.00 am and lying in bed for a good 40 minutes terrified at the prospect of having to get OUT of bed. When I finally work up enough courage to actually roll/stumble/fall/hobble out of bed, I can't even sit on the edge of the bed without feeling like my leg is going to explode with the pain.

And you want to know what the irony of this situation is? Well, I'll tell you. You know I'm a medical transcriptionist, and the two areas of medicine I'm most proficient in transcribing are - psychiatry & orthopaedics. And the irony in that you may well ask? The only medication I take regularly, apart from anti-inflammatories at the moment, is an anti-depressant, and the condition that is going to drive me insane is back pain/sciatica - basically an orthopaedic condition.

It's just as well I don't transcribe oncology on a regular basis.

Good News, and Not So Good . . .

The good news is that I did actually manage to make 4 beads today. The not so good news is that means I won't have anything to offer you tomorrow. I want to make another 5-6 beads to complete the set, and since I'll be working in my day job (yawn) for the next 5 days, I won't get any opportunity now to fire up the torch until at least next Saturday.

I had high hopes of finishing the set I started today, unfortunately, my back and associated sciatic pain had other ideas. After each bead I had to stop for 20 minutes to walk around the house to ease the leg pain. The problem is I find myself automatically sitting in a certain position when I'm at the torch, and wouldn't you know it, it's the ONE position that is guaranteed to aggravate the hell out of my sciatica. It was that bad that after each bead, and reaching down to put it the kiln - which only finds me bending over slightly - I'd get this awful burning/stinging pain shooting into my thigh and calf. And wouldn't you know it, it was a good beadmaking day too - the first in over a month where I *really* felt like I could have made beads for hours.

This back pain and sciatica is really starting to get me down. It was truly awful this morning - I had a major coughing fit and I was in agony the whole time. I couldn't sit, I couldn't stand, I couldn't lie down - anything I did made the pain worse, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop coughing, and the more I coughed, the worse the leg pain became.

Oh well, such is life.

So next Saturday I am definitely going to put the finishing touches on the set I started today. I doubt very much I'll have much chance to do it next Sunday, as Russ & I, and Yvonne & Farid, are heading over to Frankston to celebrate Arthur's birthday (Hi Art - I know you read my notes from my blog on Facebook :-)), and it will no doubt be a very late night and we'll probably end up staying in Frankston on Saturday night.

In the meantime, I hope you have a good week, and I'll catch you again early next week with new beads.

Perhaps, Perhaps, Perhaps. . .

. . . I may make beads tomorrow. Or perhaps not.

I don't know what's wrong with me lately. Any time I think about melting glass, I get this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach, closely followed by an anxiety attack. A huge part of me does want to make beads, but the smallest apathetic part, seems to be winning. I hope tomorrow that may change.

I love the smell of my studio. It's not something I can actually put into words, other than to say that the memory *behind* the smell is what draws me in there. I've actually gone into my studio every day the past week in a vain attempt to elicit some sort of excitement about the 'good old days' when I made beads for a living. The good news is that a small part of me *does* react to it, and the distinct possibility that I may melt glass again. Unfortunately, I'm not sure if I will be able to follow through with that.

I think a lot of it is to do with the dramas going on in my life at the moment. A huge part is Russ being out of work. All the memories of Ansett's demise back in 2001 are flooding back, and although I try my hardest not to become despondent, it's not easy. Then there's my job, which is getting me down big time. I put in 9 hours a day and I'm barely scraping together enough to make ends meet.

Oh, and then there's my back pain. As you may know if you're a regular reader of my blog (all 2 of you), I had a massive exacerbation of back pain in March, and its pretty much been with me ever since then. The back pain itself has eased off slightly (at least I can walk now), but now I have the added bonus of sciatica - something I have never had before. I first noticed it about 2 weeks ago whilst working in my day job - I use a footpedal for the transcription, and every time I lifted my left leg, I noticed I was getting a burning/stinging type sensation in the back of my left thigh. Since then, its moved to my butt, the side of my left thigh and down into my calf. And sleeping, or I should say, TRYING to sleep, has become a nightmare. I cannot get comfortable no matter what position I try. When I first try to get out of bed each morning, it's truly farcical with a combination of moaning, wincing, and then finally rolling out of bed.

I suppose a referral to an orthopaedic surgeon isn't far off. I've been putting it off for years, but it's quickly reaching the stage where I'm no doubt going to have to have some sort of investigation, such as a CT or MRI scan. I don't even want to entertain the idea of back surgery - what with Russ going in for surgery on his back fairly soon, and all the associated costs (and we don't have private health insurance). And in the meantime, I have to keep plodding along in my day job, which is only exacerbating the problem all the more. And that in itself is worrying me - with Russ out of work, I HAVE to be working - there is simply no choice.

I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this, and frankly, I'm just sick of it all. I feel like running (hobbling) away and starting again. Unfortunately, wherever you go, there you are. I'm realistic enough to know I can't run away from my problems - I just have to find a way through them.

Anyway, tomorrow is another day, and maybe things will improve. I live in hope.

Move Along . . .

. . . there's nothing to see here.

No beads. No interesting news to share. The only thing to look forward to is another week of work - ha!

The days all merge into one long cycle of waking up, working for 9 hours, going to bed, waking up, working for 9 hours, going to bed, waking up, working for 9 hours, going to bed. You get the picture. I think the appropriate description is "same sh*t, different day".

My life is starting to read like a bad soap opera.

The one bit of good news, well good news for me anyway, is that I'm in ketosis, meaning I'm burning fat, thanks to going back to low-carbing. I also feel much healthier and have way more energy. Yay for me.

Oh, and please, don't email me about how bad low-carb diets are - it's BS. I've had every blood test known to man whilst low-carbing, and everything is completely normal. My diet consists of loads of vegetables, certain fruits, and protein. Believe me when I tell you I eat loads of healthy foods, and certainly not half a cow at each meal. I'm not really that much of a meat eater - I prefer fish and soy products such as tofu.

If you THINK you know what low-carbing entails, and have no other information to base that assumption on other than the 'spin doctoring' provided by journalists (aka scum of the earth), then you really don't have a clue. If you want to know why obesity and diabetes have increased so dramatically over the last 20 years - I'll tell you. It's due to the obsession with the low-fat diet. What do you think is replaced when fat is removed? Sugar. Sugar is quite simply white death. If you don't want to low-carb, but want to remain healthy, at the very least remove sugar and processed foods from your diet (ie. white bread, potatoes, cookies, junk food, etc). They are bad, bad news.

For Russ. . .

Since Russ is always scratching his head in frustration when trying to work me out, I thought I'd help him. According to the MBTI (Myers-Briggs Type Indicator), I'm an INTJ - aka known as an Introvert, iNtuitive, Thinking, Judging type personality.

So DH, this is for you. Read it, and make sure you're taking notes (paying particular attention to point 3):

Dealing with INTJs:

1. Be willing to back up your statements with facts - or at least some pretty sound reasoning.
   
   
2. Don't expect them to respect you or your viewpoints just because you say so. INTJ respect must be earned.
   
   
3. Be willing to concede when you are wrong. The average INTJ respects the truth over being "right". Withdraw your erroneous comment and admit your mistake and they will see you as a very reasonable person. Stick to erroneous comments and they will think you are an irrational idiot and treat everything you say as being questionable.
   
   
4. Try not to be repetitive. It annoys them.
   
   
5. Do not feed them a line of bull.
   
   
6. Expect debate. INTJs like to tear ideas apart and prove their worthiness. They will even argue a point they don't actually support for the sake of argument.
   
   
7. Do not mistake the strength of your conviction with the strength of your argument. INTJs do not need to believe in a position to argue it or argue it well. Therefore, it will take more than fervor to sway them.
   
   
8. Do not be surprised at sarcasm.
   
   
9. Remember that INTJs believe in workable solutions. They are extremely open-minded to possibilities, but they will quickly discard any idea that is unfeasible. INTJ open-mindedness means that they are willing to have a go at an idea by trying to pull it apart. This horrifies people who expect oohs and ahhs and reverence. The ultimate INTJ insult to an idea is to ignore it, because that means it's not even interesting enough to deconstruct.
   
   This also means that they will not just accept any viewpoint that is presented to them. The bottom line is "Does it work?" - end discussion.
   
   
10. Do not expect INTJs to actually care about how you view them. They already know that they are arrogant bastards with a morbid sense of humor. Telling them the obvious accomplishes nothing.

Now, was that so difficult? Makes perfect sense to me.

I'm Starting to Wonder. . .

. . . if I will ever melt glass again. I really did have the best intentions of doing so this weekend, but then I spent Saturday relaxing, and on Sunday we went to Farid & Yvonne's house for a 'jam session' (Daniel, Russ' son that has been visting with us, is a fantastic drummer, Farid plays the bass guitar, and another friend, Kieran, joined us as the vocalist and playing acoustic guitar), and that was how we spent the afternoon. A large group of us then visited the local Mexican restaurant as a farewell dinner for Daniel (he's heading back to Tasmania in a few hours' time), and by the time that was all over, it was going on for midnight.

So, that's how I spent the weekend - doing everything but melting glass. I've also felt a little 'down in the dumps' the past few days. Not sure exactly why, but I think a large part of it is that I don't feel my vacation was quite long enough, and I'm just settling back into the usual work routine. Oh well, this too shall pass.

Anyway, I'll keep this post brief, as that's about all the news, if you can call it that, that I have to share. Maybe *next* weekend I'll make beads. Or maybe not.

Catch you soon.

Checking In....

Just stopping by to say hi. My first week back at work has gone remarkably quickly, and thankfully, the weekend is here. I haven't been near the studio for around 3 weeks, and I'm hoping things will change tomorrow - I have a whole bunch of new glass my good friend, Tonia, sent me as a RAOGK (Random Act Of Glass Kindness) that I'm dying to try. A few of the silver glasses (which I will probably screw up, knowing me) and a whole host of other fab colours we can't get here in Oz. I'm hoping I WON'T screw it up.. but that remains to be seen. In any case, I do hope to have some new beads to offer you in the coming days.

Well, I better say TTFN and think about cooking something for dinner. Have a great weekend - catch you again soon.

Good Times. . .

Good Times
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Honey, I'm home!

We just had the best time away. Unfortunately, it all went too quickly, but isn't that always the way when you're having fun? Russ and I arrived at Sambar Park on the Sunday afternoon, and spent the next few days pretty much doing nothing but relaxing. We caught up on our reading, lounged around the house, I played around on the laptop, and we enjoyed the occasional (LOL) glass of wine. Many hours were also spent in the hottub, and the evenings were chilly enough to light the open fire.

On Wednesday afternoon, our friends, Yvonne and Farid, arrived. After a few more glasses of wine, and cooking dinner on the BBQ, we all proceeded to spend a few hours in the hottub. Many jokes were made about how the 'plebs' were spending the night, how we'd given the butler the night off, and trying to come up with ideas as to how we could afford to buy the house and live there permanently! After the hottub, and more wine, we spent the next 3 hours in front of the fireplace whilst Russ & Farid serenaded us with their guitars. The evening was capped off with a glass or two of Russ' homemade Bailey's Irish Cream and we fell into bed in the wee hours, all feeling very content.

Thursday was spent in Mansfield eating brunch, then back to the house to settle in for a little while before heading out to a hotel at Jamieson for *the* most delicious steaks - and more wine, of course. Then back to the house to sit in front of the open fire again, where I proceeded to fall asleep for 3 hours whilst everyone else talked. Luckily Yvonne and Farid are used to me falling asleep at some point during the evening, so it was all good.

We checked out early Friday morning and leisurely made our way back home. Now we're back to reality, and I feel like the vacation was a million years ago! Seriously though, everyone seemed to have a fabulous time, and its made me realise that we need to get away more often.

And today is our 8th wedding anniversary. We have Russ' son, Daniel, up from Tasmania, and as I'm sitting here relaxing with a glass of wine (yes, I know it's early, but I'm still in vacation mode!) he's in the kitchen preparing an 8 course dinner for us. I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but for those not in the know, Daniel is in his last year of his apprenticeship as a chef. He's keeping the dishes as a surprise, but I know it includes prawns, oysters, racks of lamb, and quite a few other scrumptious delights. I ask you, does life get any better than this?

So that's been the last week for me. It's going to be difficult to go back to work on Monday, and I have to admit, I've actually been working for a few hours today (and yesterday afternoon as well, much to Russ' disgust). All in all, I can honestly say I'm so glad Russ talked me into going away - I didn't realise how desperately I needed it.

Oh, and there will be more photos over the coming days - Farid took all the photos and I need to grab them off him before I can upload them to my Flickr account.

Thanks for stopping by, and I hope to fire up the torch next weekend, and have some new beads to offer you shortly.

PS. Just got a hold of the menu for this evening - read it and weep:

Anniversary Degustation Menu

Eight courses from around the world ...

* Coriander Naan Bread with Butter Chicken Sauce
* 1/2 dozen Oysters Kilpatrick
* Garlic Butter Asparagus
* Vanilla & Cardamom Tiger Prawns with Sushi Rice
* Cherry Tomato, Fennel & Orange Salad
* Moroccan Spiced Lamb Racks with Couscous
* Persian Coffee Pot
* Cheese & Fruit Platter with Honey Bread

I think I've died and gone to heaven, and I haven't even tasted it yet. And best of all, not only did I not have to prepare this, but I don't have to pay the bill OR clean up afterwards.

Like I said, does life get any better than this?

Snape Gets His Sexy On . . .

I've become a little obsessed lately with Alan Rickman's character (Severus Snape) out of Harry Potter. Not only have I added a photo of him as my profile picture on Facebook, but I'm also using the same picture on Messenger (much to the annoyance of M, who tells me he'd rather eye candy for him to look at - maybe when I get back from leave M, I'll indulge you and put my photo back up :P). Oh, and spending a lot of time searching for videos on YouTube featuring Snape. You'd think I was 16, and not 39.

I've found lots of videos that I love, but I think this is my favourite. And as much as I'm embrasssed to admit it, the song has grown on me over the past week (and I guess I'm a >>little<< over the age of being considered a Justin Timberlake fan).

Anyway, apart from the fact I've been drooling over Snape in the video, it's actually pretty clever, if not a little monotonous in parts. Keep an eye out for Hagrid - when I first saw it, I almost choked on my coffee.

Well, that's it out of me for at least a week. Russ & I head off on our vacation Sunday and won't be back home until next Friday. So, whatever you're doing for the next week, I hope you have a wonderful time - I know I will! Catch you again soon!

For Melissa . . .

Okay Melissa, this is for you. You know I hate those tag emails where I have to fill in stuff and think of 20 people to send them to, so instead of racking my brains to think of people to annoy, I'll fill it out here and annoy all 5 people that regularly visit my blog. Hey, at least you can't say I didn't bother doing it this time.

Top 10 Sexiest Actors And/Or Characters They've Played

And in no particular order, my choices are:

1. Alan Rickman as Severus Snape (Harry Potter films).
2. Arnold Vosloo as Imhotep - once he has fully regenerated of course (The Mummy).
3. Nicolas Cage as Castor Troy (Face/Off).
4. Al Pacino as Michael Corleone (Godfather films).
5. Joaquin Phoenix as Commodus (Gladiator).

(Hmmm... there seems to a pattern here of bad boys. I've always had a thing for bad boys. Well, maybe with the exception of Snape, since he was ultimately a good guy. So, let's round out it with a few good guys).

6. Keanu Reeves in anything (but particularly in The Matrix - I HATE those films, but who can resist a sexy guy in black?).
7. Jason Scott Lee as Bruce Lee (Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story).
8. Bruce Willis in anything.
9. Gary Sinise as Stu Redman (The Stand).
10. Denzel Washington or Will Smith in anything (okay, so that's technically two, but I can't choose, and it's my blog, so I can do what I want) :)

One thing's for certain, you couldn't say I'm racist (also reflected in my love life, as over the years I've dated Caucasians, Asians, and African Americans). Oh, and notice my preference for unusual looking guys, usually with dark hair? That was always a running joke with a good friend and myself. When we were both single and frequenting nightclubs, there was never a fight for which guy we were interested in - I'd always go for the quirky, odd looking, darkly mysterious men, and she'd go for the blonde 'surfie' types. Ah.... good days. I don't get the obsession with pretty boys like Brad Pitt. Okay, so I can see why people say he's good looking, but he just doesn't do it for me.

Top 10 Most Despised Actors And/Or Characters They've Played:

1-10. Tom Cruise in anything.

That was easy! ;)

(Pre) Vacation Mode. . .

I had every intention of making beads this weekend, however, surprise, surprise, it never happened. Yesterday I had a 21st birthday lunch to attend (which I had completely forgotten about until DH Russ reminded me on Friday), and when we got home around 6.00 pm, we decided we'd spend the night with our friends, Yvonne & Farid, at their house. It was a fairly quiet night - well, as quiet as it ever is with the four of us guzzling wine, talking, laughing, singing along with Farid as he plays the guitar, and listening to Yvonne's Rainbow Lorikeet, Maverick, squawking continuously. Maverick is just the sweetest bird - like most parrots, he can 'talk' - and our conversations are nearly always peppered with "love you", "Maverick!", "massage", and a million other words that Maverick has mastered. He's also so cute when he jumps on your hand, runs up your arm, and ends up on your shoulder screaming "kiss" in you ear until you finally pucker up for a parrot kiss from him. So, it was a great night, as it always is with Yvonne & Farid.

As for today, I got out of bed early to make beads, and instead, I spent the day tidying up, catching up on my reading, and playing a whole bunch of new games I downloaded from Big Fish Games. I'm totally addicted to all the hidden item games they have, and before I knew it, 3 or 4 hours had passed.

So, although I still have a week left of work, I guess I'm already in 'vacation' mode. This time next week Russ and I will be settling in to our accomodation - no doubt, we'll have spent a few hours in the hottub and will be very relaxed. Ahh.. bliss!

So, it looks like they'll be no more beads out of me now until at least the week beginning 9 June. Like I've been saying for months, I really need this break away, so hopefully on my return, I'll be rested and ready to melt glass again.

And on that note, I'll say TTFN. I'll probably update the blog again during the week, but if not, I'll catch you again on my return from Howqua.

Outside My Comfort Zone. . .

So, today, I did something totally outside my comfort zone. No, I didn't go bungee jumping or abseiling. I didn't even do something as completely outrageous as keeping my opinions to myself - as far as I'm aware, hell hasn't frozen over yet.

No, I did something even more uncomfortable. I purchased a swimsuit. Yes, I realise for most women this is an annual event. However, for me, it's something that is completely alien. I can't even remember the last time I wore a swimsuit. I think I may have been an adolescent. No, that's not true. I'd actually hazard a guess and say I was probably a child of about 8 or 9 the last time I wore a swimsuit.

You may find that an absurd statement, particularly as I live in one of the most beach-obsessed nations on the planet. But, there's a few reasons for my antipathy. Firstly, I absolutely LOATHE swimming. I *can* swim - as a matter of fact, I was a champion backstroker in my (very) early years at school. I vaguely remember enjoying it at some point. I don't know when that changed - it just did.

Secondly, I could be Nicole Kidman's twin sister - I'm as pale as a ghost. I only have to sit in the (winter) sun on my back deck for 20 minutes and I will burn. Oh, and I don't tan. I go a lovely shade of lobster red, peel, itch, and blister for two weeks, and then back to white. What a delight. And I admit, that's always annoyed me. I think I get it from my mother's side of the family, as she's pale too. God knows it's not from my father's side. Although he was blonde with blue eyes, like myself, and of Dutch/German heritage, he would go as brown as a berry. Actually, my mother's side of the family is Jewish and French, so hell, I should be able to tan to some degree. But, I digress...

Thirdly, I'm not particularly crazy about wandering around in a state of undress in my own bathroom. There's no way in hell I'm going to wander around in a public place like that.

My last, and most important, reason is that although I'm not crazy about swimming in pools, but would probably do so for exercise if I owned a pool, I absolutely cannot stand the ocean. What is there to like? I can't bear swimming in saltwater (and how do people open their eyes in the ocean - UGH .. the thought fills me with unimaginable horror), but then there's the idea of all manner of 'things' floating around underneath me (ie. seaweed, garbage, sharks, perhaps a dead body or three, oh .. and effluent OMG). But my most despised thing of all? Sand.

I think sand is God's biggest laugh. Even if I could get past the concept of burning eyes, giant man-eating fish eating my liver as an appetiser, rotting corpses, and bodily wastes, I cannot tolerate sand. Hot sand burns. God knows how many discarded syringes are lying around. Oh, and picking it out of my scalp (and other areas) for the next month is not something that is high on my "must do before I die" list.

Like I say, the whole experience is so revolting to me, that I simply cannot understand the fascination with ANY of it.

So, having said all that, you may be wondering why on earth I purchased a swimsuit? Well, there's one - and ONLY one - reason for that - our trip away to Howqua in 1.5 weeks. The last few times DH Russ & I have stayed somewhere that had a hottub, I either skinny dipped (it was only him present after all), or else I wore a ratty 15-year-old bodysuit. Since this bodysuit now has about 3 large gaping holes in it and a broken strap, I figured I might purchase a swimsuit.

So, that's what I did today. And that's the picture. I purchased it online, and it should arrive either tomorrow or Monday. I only hope it fits. It's rather simple, but my favourite colour - black. Its obviously been a long time since I purchased a swimsuit, since I almost choked to death when I realised that with shipping, it would cost me almost $110. I suppose that's probably considered cheap for most people, however, for me, it's absurd. I wouldn't normally pay $110 for an item of clothing I would wear with any regularity, but I spent it on something I'll only ever wear when we go away somewhere that has a hottub (ie. once a year if I'm lucky).

On the upside, perhaps I can use this as an excuse to go away more often.

One thing's for certain - it won't be changing my mind about swimming in the ocean.

Simply Berry . . .

Simply Berry
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Here's the 'teaser' pic for the new set I was talking about in yesterday's blog entry. The weather wasn't much better today, but at least I managed to get slightly better shots than what I achieved yesterday. I can almost guarantee if you like the picture, then you're going to *love* the beads in 'real life'! Can you tell I'm pleased with this set? LOL ;-D

These are now up on eBay - take a peek!

Okay, my one (and only) break of a WHOLE 15 minutes for the day is over, so I better keep plodding along in my day job - still have another hour to go. Have a good night/day/morning/afternoon - or whatever time it is in your part of the world ;-)

Want Beads? . . .

Simply Berry (Sneak Peek)
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Well, you're in luck! I put the finishing touches on a new set today, and here's a sneak peek for you. Excuse the awful photo, unfortunately, the weather is still overcast, and after spending 20 minutes trying to get a half decent shot, I gave up. Hopefully, you'll get a 'feel' for them with this photo.

There'll be 10 beads in this set (which includes a large focal and two spacers). As I always say, I'm not a pink lover, but there's just something about these I *love*. The Raku flowers are divine - I managed to coax some lovely shades of purple out of it.

So with any luck, these should be up on eBay on Tuesday morning (weather permitting, of course). There's no way I'll have time before I start work tomorrow to photograph them and list the auction, but I'll do my best to photograph them around midday, when the light seems to be the best for photographing, and they'll be ready to go on Tuesday.

See you then!

Male-Female Relationships. . .

And still on videos. 'When Harry Met Sally' has always been one of my favourite movies. Not because it's a 'chick flick' either - I'm not really a 'chick flick' type of girl. But I guess I could always relate to it so well, as nearly all of my closest friends have been men.

I guess I'm not particularly feminine, in that I'm way too opinionated for my own good, I can't bear sitting around bitching about other women, I'm not a 'princess' that requires a man to rescue her, and I *loathe* clothes shopping with a passion (and would someone please explain to me the fascination in spending a whole day running around to 326 different stores, wasting money, trying on 2,529 items, and having a false saleswoman gushing about how 'wonderful' I look in absolutely everything I try on? Oh, and don't even get me started on how much I want to abuse the living !@$% out of them when they push their way into my cubicle whilst I'm in a state of undress to ask me if I "need any help?" UGH!). I generally have not found a great deal in common with most women - actually, the only two things I can think of that are my real 'girly' obsessions are make-up and perfume (I have way too much of both).

Oh, and lingerie. Sadly I admit the latter has seriously fallen by the wayside as of late. My lingerie drawer is pitiful at the moment (and yes, I realise that lingerie are technically clothes, but for some reason, that's the only item of clothing I could probably spend more than 5 minutes searching for - even that drives me nuts nowadays. I mean, I'm as tall as most models at almost 6 feet, so I would assume that lingerie would be one of those things I wouldn't have a problem finding. Nope. If I find something that fits my waist - which is relatively small - then it's too tight around the hips, or else it fits my hips and is WAY too big around the waist. UGH again! Okay, so in reality, I'm an Australian size 12-14 (US size 10-12) and *not* the size 0 of most models.. but in any event, surely if they use tall models to sell lingerie, why can't they make them in sizes for 'real' women? I'm hardly fat. And on that subject, remember Marilyn Monroe? She was a size 16, and was the sex symbol of her day ... what the hell has gone so wrong with society that anyone over a size 2 is considered fat? God almighty.. the world has gone mad. Well, I guess that's what happens when you have gay men designing fashion for women - oh, and before the hate mail starts - I'm not homophobic - some of my best friends, both male AND female, have been gay.)

Anyway, enough of my ranting - back to the story . . . I never really analysed my friendships with men a great deal, until I saw WHMS that is. WHMS put a whole new spin on things, and I realised how true most of it was. I still find it a little weird to believe that many of my best friendships have, in reality, probably been based on sex. And no, I don't mean that there was actual sex involved - I mean that the male of the pair probably held out a smidgen of hope, no matter how slim, that they may 'get lucky'. This snippet from WHMS sums it up perfectly. To this day, I *still* laugh and nod my head in agreement at this scene. Classic stuff.

A Quick Hello. . .

Another weekend is upon us, and boy, am I glad of that. Although I enjoy my medical transcription work, with all the extra hours I'm putting in, I find I need the weekends more than ever to recover. Amazingly enough, I actually managed to melt glass today. Five beads in the kiln as I type this, and more to come tomorrow. With any luck, there should be a new set of beads up on eBay either Monday or Tuesday. I'm pretty sure I'll manage to finish the set, but I'm just hoping the weather picks up - it's been raining all day here, and there's no way I can take decent photos until that clears. I can't really complain about the rain - we desperately need it - but it's not the best weather for photography. Oh well, perhaps it'll pick up by Monday, fingers crossed.

It will be only 2 weeks tomorrow until Russ & I go away to Howqua. I know I've mentioned it numerous times, but I am so looking forward to the break. I can't remember being so desperate for a break as I am at the moment. The best part of the place we're staying it is that it's totally secluded - no phones, no neighbours, no mobile phone coverage - NOTHING (which, I have to add, gives Russ the greatest pleasure. His fear was that I would take the laptop and work the whole time. Lucky for him that's impossible - because, sadly, I admit he's probably right). It's like a little slice of heaven on earth. Russ & I will be spending the first 3 days doing nothing but lounging around the house, catching up on our reading, and spending time in the hot tub. When our friends, Yvonne & Farid, arrive on the Thursday for the last 2 nights, we'll be well rested and ready for some serious fun! It should be fabulous!

And on that note, I'll say TTFN. Make sure to drop by again in the next few days to see the new set of beads. If you're a pink lover, then I think you'll like them!

I'll just leave you with one of my favourite videos. I'm not an SNL fan (or a Will Ferrell fan for that matter), but this skit has always made me chuckle. I always loved "Don't Fear The Reaper" by Blue Oyster Cult, but this puts a totally new spin on it. We definitely need more cowbell! LOL

Finally . . .

Wallflower
Originally uploaded by thatgirl1269

Yep, new beads. Were you starting to wonder if I was ever going to have another auction? Well, I was. I was absolutely determined this weekend not to type a single medical report, and instead concentrate on melting glass. So, these beads are the result.

The beads are now up on eBay - take a peek.

Have a good day, and I'll catch you again soon.

Happy Mother's Day. . .

Just want to wish all you Mums a good day tomorrow. As I don't have children, it obviously doesn't mean a great deal to me. Having said that though, I did receive a nice surprise today from my stepdaughter, Lauren. She bought me two oil diffusers - those scented oils you put bamboo reeds in and place around your house. She knows I love that sort of stuff. What really touched me was the Swarovski key chain she put with them, which came with this little poem attached:

"Someone Special

Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay a while and leave footprints on our hearts. And we are never the same again".

She's a sweet girl, well I should say woman, as she recently turned 23. I've always had a good relationship with Lauren. I can barely believe she was only 13 when Russ & I started dating. She's grown into an intelligent and thoughtful young woman. I couldn't be more proud of her if she were my own flesh and blood.

I, on the other hand, am a terrible daughter. Although I purchased a gift online for my mother, it hasn't as yet arrived, and as I've been working so much recently and not finishing until 6.00 pm, it completely slipped my mind to pick up a card for my own mother. I know she's not going to be happy with me, and this is the first year that I have forgotten. I don't really have much of an excuse other than I work from home (and in fact, other than to walk Toby each morning and to check the mailbox, I haven't even *left* the house since last Sunday), don't finish until 6.00 pm, and I've had quite a lot on my mind the past few weeks. Perhaps I can take her out to dinner tomorrow night to make up for it. Although I love my Mum, she does tend to like to hold grudges for these sorts of things. In actuality, she would probably be more likely to forgive me if I had forgotten the gift, but bought a card.

Oh well. I do my best, but after all, I'm only human.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? . . .

Sorry I've been so quiet. I'm just so busy focusing on work lately, that I feel like I'm going to go insane before much longer. Russ & I decided we are going to go away in June, no matter how much it costs. If I don't have a break soon, I'm going to burn out. That hot tub at Howqua has my name on it, and I can hear it calling.

I really hope to make beads this weekend, so stay tuned. In the meantime, here's a little something my stepdaughter sent over. I got a chuckle out of it. Take it easy over the weekend, and I'll update the blog again soon.

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

DR. PHIL : The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.

COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...

DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.

GRANDPA : In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

ARISTOTLE : It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES : I have just released eChicken2007, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% ......... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN : Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON : I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?

DICK CHENEY : Where's my gun?

AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens!

KEVIN RUDD: I am so sorry that he had to cross the road, I apologise on behalf of all Australians.

BRENDAN NELSON: I too am sorry that the chicken crossed the road but don’t expect us to pay for him to get back!,

Time To Begin. . .

So I'm over my pity party. One can only bitch for so long before it becomes tiresome. In the immortal words of one of my favourite Aussie artists, Katie Noonan, it's "Time to Begin". When one door shuts, another one opens. Whatever you concentrate on with feeling, you attract more of - "thoughts become things". Time I remembered that and started concentrating on the positives.

Do yourself a favour and check Katie's music out. I guarantee you won't be sorry you did.



PS. I know I owe a few of you emails. Please bear with me. Over the coming days, I promise to reply to everyone. I've just needed this weekend off to try and give my shoulders and neck a rest in preparation of facing a new week of work. In the meantime, thank you SO much to everyone who has emailed me - it means more than you'll ever know. Hugs to all.

Trust No One . . .

I always loved The X-Files. Doesn't it seem like a hundred years ago that that show first aired? It does to me. Actually, it *was* - well 15 years anyway. I was only 24 years old when the first season aired. My God, I am old. C'est la vie.

Anyway, I've decided that the tagline to The X-Files should be my life motto - "trust no one". I try so hard to give people the benefit of the doubt. I believe people when they tell me things. I like to believe that most people are inherently good. Then someone like "Bob" (see "Trials and Tribulations") finds their way back into my life. They feign concern. They feign ignorance. They feign friendship. Then I find out, surprise surprise, that they were lying through their teeth the whole time.

So "Bob" - this one is for you. You disappointed me. We were friends. I know in the great scheme of things you don't give a flying you-know-what about what you've done to Russ. I'm damn sure you don't care what effect this situation has on me. I'm positive you'd have at least a million reasons to justify your betrayal. I know you probably lied to me to cover your own butt. But remember this, no-one, not even you, is indispensable.

A few years ago, you may remember me jokingly making the comment that you were Darth Vader and had defected to 'The Dark Side'. I've had a change of heart since. You're not Darth Vader. You're Judas - selling Russ out for 30 pieces of silver.

Oh, and one more thing before I go:

Be careful of whose toes you step on on your way to the top. You may just meet them again on your way back down.

Watch out for karma "Bob", it has a way of biting you in the ass.

PS Bob - the letter arrived today. I suppose that's your idea of "keeping me posted". Nice touch to have "A" sign it. It's not bad enough what Forstaff have done, but would it have been too much to ask one of you spineless wimps, either yourself or "DT", to sign it instead of "passing the buck" to a lacky? I hope you sleep well at night "Bob". I'm sorry I ever cared about you.

When The Going Gets Tough . . .

. . . The tough get going. Or so the saying goes.

Since Russ will probably lose his job as soon as he recovers enough to return from his recent back pain exacerbation, we have had to make plans. We both realise the day is fast approaching when I'm going to be the breadwinner - and having to support myself, Russ, and my mother, along with paying the mortgage and all the other bills, is weighing heavily on my mind.

So I made the decision over the weekend to increase my hours of work. As of today, I'm working from 9.00 am to 6.00 pm, Monday to Friday. That's 9 straight hours of typing each day - apart from the occasional bathroom break - remembering that I don't take lunch and/or tea breaks. At this stage, I don't even know if I'm going to earn enough to cover everything, but, I have to do something.

My shift for the day has just finished, and I have to admit, I'm exhausted. Although it's only 2 hours' extra per day, I'm feeling it in every fibre of my being. It's probably complicated by the fact that for the past 3 days I've been feeling like I'm coming down with the flu. And speaking of that, I'm starting to think it may actually be something a little more than the flu. As I was sitting here this morning (typing away in my job) in my turtleneck sweater (winter is just around the corner 'down under') I noticed I was absent-mindedly pulling at the sweater on the left side, due to a slight irritation on my neck. I didn't think much about it until I had a bathroom break and looked in the mirror to find that I have a little red rash on my neck. As soon as I saw it, I realised what I *could* be dealing with - shingles.

I had shingles back in 2001, just after Russ & I returned from the US. At the time, as you may remember if you're a regular reader of my blog, Russ & I had arrived in the US on the morning of 9/11, and then found out the next day that he was out of a job due to Ansett Australia going bankrupt. Funnily enough, although I was obviously a little stressed about our situation at that time, I don't remember feeling totally overwhelmed. For those who have no idea about shingles - here's a little explanation. It's basically the chickenpox virus that sits dormant in your spinal cord - until something sets it off. So, if you've ever had chickenpox (and let's face it, most of us suffer this condition in our childhood), the chance is there that one day you may develop shingles. Experts aren't really sure what that "something" is - although it's more prevalent in the elderly, those with a weakened immune system, and/or those under stress.

In 2001, I ended up with it in my ophthalmic nerve on the right side. Luckily Russ persuaded me to go to the doctor back then *before* it really took hold (I wasn't going to go, thinking it was "just a small rash"), so I was able to get my hands on the antiviral medication, and after taking that and seeing an ophthalmologist, I was given the all clear within a week or two. This time I don't know if it *is* shingles, but I'm going to keep an eye on the rash, and if it spreads in the next 24 hours, I'll be going to see the doctor.

So, if I do have shingles again, the stress of the past few days has more than likely set it off. It can quite often start off with flu-like symptoms (which is what I've had), and within a few days of that, the rash appears - again, that's what seems to have happened. Oh well, at the moment it's just a few tiny sore red lumps and may have nothing to do with my other symptoms, but I'll just see how it goes.

Anyway, what about beads? Well, quite obviously, I don't have anything new to offer you. As I haven't been well the past few days, I haven't been near the studio. Unfortunately, I can't even give an estimate as to when I *may* be in there. After working for 45 straight hours a week, I can't imagine I'm going to want to work on weekends either, although I will try my best in the next few weeks to attempt melting glass. But, if not, well.. I have to say I have much more important things I need to deal with at the moment than making beads. Once upon a time I could rely on the sales of my beads to keep the money rolling in, alas, those days seem to be over. I now need to concentrate all my efforts to what *is* making me money - hopefully, we will get back on our feet in the not too distant future.

I'll keep you posted.